10w2d

We had another appointment yesterday morning and it was awesome. :) The appointment was mostly just for us to discuss different kinds of prenatal testing, and also so we could meet our actual MD (up until now, all of my contact has been with my NP). We actually didn't discuss the testing very long, as it turns out DH and I are relatively well-informed about these things already.

So then Dr. N asked if we had any more questions, and I asked if we could hear the heartbeat yet. He had the doppler thing sitting right next to him and says "sure!" (I was like, "really, that's the thing we're using to hear the heartbeat?!?" it's so primitive!! it looks like something a news reporter from 1975 would use to tape interviews with witnesses. anyhow...) And of course he couldn't find the heartbeat. He told me even before he started that if we couldn't hear it, I shouldn't panic. So then after a few minutes of not being able to find it, he again told me not to panic and that we'd do another ultrasound. It's funny but I actually wasn't panicking - I've been getting bigger and still have lots of symptoms and part of me really was sure that our embie was still okay.

The ultrasound was amazing! (it was also fantastic because we are done with the probe. yay!) Even though I couldn't immediately see the beating heart on the screen, embie was moving around A LOT. So I knew everything was okay, because tiny beings without beating hearts cannot kick like that! The tech was then able to find the heart and the rate was perfect. Dr. N came with us and told us everything looked excellent. The measurements were also perfect, measuring exactly 10w1d. I am so thankful that embie was hiding from us with the doptone so we would get to sneak a peek again. :)

I finally feel like it's okay to call our little one a baby because that is definitely a little human growing in me. Yes, reality is really starting to hit me. Up until yesterday, there was still a big part of me stuck in "this isn't really happening" mode. I'm also starting to show a tiny bit, which is exciting and scary (my brother yesterday: "you're getting fat." Me: (unamused silence) Brother: "well...umm... not really fat....you know what i mean." Me: *sigh* Clearly my brother has never been married!).

Despite the good news yesterday, I am still waiting until we hit 12 weeks to tell everyone else. This is driving my parents and in-laws crazy but it's less than two weeks away so they can suck it up. It's not even that I'm worried as much about miscarriage as I was before, it's just that I need another two weeks to get used to this whole "yup, there is a living human growing inside of me" thing.