lottery

The New York Times started running a series of stories called "21st Century Babies" this week. The first story dealt primarily with the problems that result from multiple births, even with twins, for both the mother and the babies. If the information cited in the article is even close to the truth, I already feel misled by every doctor I've talked to thus far.

I think the doctors, clinics, and often the patients seeking IVF lose sight of the big picture. There are numerous risks involved with twin pregnancies, including birth defects, low birth weights, premature labor, not to mention additional procedures, surgeries, and bed rest for the mother. The costs of these things are enormous - emotional, moral, physical, economical. If you've been trying to get pregnant, and keep failing, I can understand how maybe as you get older you will start to get more desperate to have a baby. Period. The cognitive dissonance kicks in and the only way you can make sense of what you've already gone through is to hold "Getting Pregnant" above all else. Including "Having a Healthy Baby." Unfortunately they are not necessarily one and the same.

For me, the whole purpose of doing IVF is to avoid passing on a disease to my future children. In other words, the goal is Healthy Baby. For all I know, the Getting Pregnant goal might not even be that hard for me to reach. Why on earth would I put myself through the entire IVF process just to trade in the risk of one disease (muscular dystrophy) for multiple increased risks of other medical problems (including cerebral palsy, lifelong learning disabilities, deafness, blindness, etc.)?

The good news is that I meet all the criteria for an ideal candidate for single embryo transfer (SET). I am under 35 (I turn 27 next week), I've not had failed IVF cycles, etc. I'm just pissed off that I had to learn this from www.nytimes.com instead of my doctor. No harm, no foul, at this point but still frustrating. I'm taking this as just another reminder that we are our best advocates. We can't rely on others to ask the questions, educate us about options, and keep our long-term best interests in mind.