Thursday, March 11, 2010

sick of worrying

The drama continues... I've had two more spotting episodes in the past 48 hours, and some minor cramps in between. It's not anything resembling a flow - I probably wouldn't even notice it if I weren't so freakin' paranoid, but it's enough that I'm worried. So I called my usual nurse practitioner (who will also be my NP for my prenatal care) to get her opinion. She thinks it warrants an ultrasound, if for no other reason than to keep me from worrying. So that's where I'll be an hour from now.

I know there are lots of reasons these symptoms could be innocuous and "normal" but I also know there is a chance they might not be. I've been on this emotional roller coaster this week - positive & thinking everything will be fine, then two hours later being convinced I'm on the verge of miscarriage. My therapist told me I need to learn to trust my body, that I should accept all of the other symptoms as proof that I'm pregnant, but I feel like the progesterone suppositories mess everything up. I am *really* hoping they are the explanation for the spotting, and that the cramping is just my uterus growing with our little embie, and that it's just a coincidence that they are happening around the same time. Ugh. I hate this. Hopefully I'll have encouraging news later today and I can relax for at least a little while. I keep telling everyone that I need to steal their good luck for awhile - definitely need it today!

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